Elemental Birth Writes Spring 2022


The temperatures have started to ease; we are waking up, again, to the birthing energy of our Great Mother Earth.


As her soils thaw and become more receptive to the energy of the sun, she awaits the seeds we have prepared through the winter. Each of us, having gone within, strengthening, and fortifying ourselves, we are ready to nurture the projects that promise abundant life over the next several months.

Although many around us have become accustomed to celebrating a new year just after the winter solstice, looking to nature, we can appreciate true signs of renewal that align themselves with the arrival of the spring equinox.  As the trees bud and the early bulbs push their way through frosty soils, we can feel a deep awakening happening in our spirits. This energy inspires us to recommit to ourselves, redefine ourselves, reassuring our minds that we can, in fact, manifest all that we require…and more!

What seeds have you gathered to sow into the soil?  What seedlings have you nurtured that are ready to be transplanted into the earth?  In a time where we have received so much messaging that creates instability, we can, with blessed assurance, rely on the cycles of the earth; the cycles of ourselves.

 At Elemental Birth Rights, we are nurturing our own seedlings.  Some of you may know we launched our Sacred Birth Keeper Practitioner Training Program in January and have been engaged in deep work, preparing our participants to share the fruits of their journeys inward with the external world as part of this year’s harvest.

As we enter a new season and a new cycle, we celebrate our creative centers as an ever-present source of energy and inspiration. Just as our beautiful Earth provides all that sustains us, we are able to access the ideas, creativity, and energy we need to manifest the truth of our deepest desires through our womb connections. What a divine gift! Intending the best for each of us as we begin to peel off the layers of all that is outdated to reveal the fresh innocence of our wombs, hearts, and souls.

For those who have traveled with us since our beginnings, thank you.

Happy New Year.

With Profound Reverence and Gratitude,

Elemental Birth Rites

  1. The doors are open! We LOVE to hear from our community and welcome participation!
  2. If you are inspired by what you read and feel moved to contribute to Elemental BirthWrites, please send your offering to janeyne@elementalbirthrites.com


FEATURED: Mothering from your Center by: Tami Lynn Kent

This season, we continue with the insightful work of Ms. Tami Lynn Kent as she encourages us to seek the resource we need for the tireless tasks of mothering from our own creative centers. In this excerpt, we consider the spiritual nature of mothering in its essence and reflect on the role our children play in strengthening our devotion to Spirit.

Please be inspired!

Mothering as a Spiritual Path

Mothering is a true spiritual path in that it will expand your spirit, make painfully visible your personal limitations, and bring some of the greatest heart-opening moments of bliss—sometimes all in one day.  When you bring forth something new from the center of your being – giving life to a child or a creative manifestation such as a work of art – there is an intensity in this process, like the heat of a kiln as it fires clay. This creative intensity is generated by the immense task of nurturing a new soul while simultaneously becoming aware of one’s inadequacies to do so…

The Mother Place

The uterus is our direct connection to the Great Mother, drawing in the raw potential to manifest and tend our creations.  In Wild Feminine, I shared my experiences of working with the pelvic bowl and the surprising realization that women are typically lacking presence in their creative core. Modern women are generally unaware of how to access their own powerful root source of creative feminine energies, and this contributes to general ambivalence about mothering. Yet, mothering calls us directly back to the home and the center of ourselves. Learning to access the root energies for our mothering enables us to harness this core creative essence for making a soulful life with our children.

The womb is a sacred place, whether we carry children there or cultivate our best creative work.  Forming a relationship with the womb and realigning with this place of mothering are essential to activating the creative potential in all that we do.  Ponder your own relationship with your womb and mothering essence with the following exercise.

Exercise: Creative Essence Meditation

Imagine your creative essence, your mothering capacity.  What does it look like?  How does it feel?  Where do you access it within your body?

Reflect upon how you are presently using your female energy to create or sustain something in your daily life. What inner rhythms or guidance are you following?  Are you nourishing yourself as part of your mothering?  Is this how you desire to use your creative essence?

Ponder your creative desires. What do you love? How does your creative work seek expression?  How can this connect to your mothering?

Imagine a sacred place in the wild, or find a place to sit where you are in direct contact with the earth. Let your center respond to this vision or earth connection. What makes your creative energy come alive?  How does your body feel when you access this potential?

Remind yourself to connect regularly with your own creative wellspring. Garden, sing, or take an art or movement class.  You can even shape your whole day from this inner current.  Let your mothering come from within and take note of the beauty that arises.

Practicing Presence and Tending to Spirit

Within each day and every creative cycle, there is an energy current we can pay attention to and even synchronize with. In doing so, we discover our ability to tend spirit while also attending to the details of living. Trying to make sense of my days with my children, I reached beyond the idea of a schedule based solely on time. Instead of a rigid structure, our schedule was made from the flow of each day.  Any agenda or item on the to-do list could easily shift when a child became tired or ill or required extra comfort. Our rhythm also shifted from season to season or as we had more children and our family needs changed.  Together we moved through creative cycles large and small that evolved as they transitioned from babies to toddlers and to increasingly independent – but still profoundly connected – school aged children and beyond.

Practicing presence, by noticing the movement that infuses a moment or a particular aspect of life, we receive direct connection with the divine. Moving away from outer distractions and instead dropping into pure presence as mothers, we can access the greater energies that are always there to inspire and sustain us.  We begin to witness our blessings as part of our daily routine, nourishing the soul just as naturally as we eat or breathe.

What new rhythms have come in the presence of mothering?

How has your way of being been reinspired?

Embracing the Shadow

 Accepting the path of motherhood will not simply bring you to your place of joy or connection with spirit; rather, it often will reveal where you have blocks.  Like all spiritual journeys, the challenges you encounter will show the psychic debris that has accumulated in your energetic field.

With its rigorous and prolonged period of demands, mothering taxes the body, mind, and soul in a manner similar to a grueling meditation regimen.  On a spiritual retreat, participants often awaken in the early hours of the morning to meditate, placing the body in a zone of discomfort designed to clarify the spirit. Mothering does the same.  The children you attend will assist you in meeting your shadow and finding the obstacles that limit your spiritual growth.

In this process of transformation, the intensity of mothering reveals a woman’s roughest edges.  I thought of myself as a composed and compassionate person until I became a mother.  Then I realized that my thoughtful demeanor actually arose from my ability to control many aspects of my life. Similar to the spiritual seekers who live a comfortable life but then are surprised by the difficult feelings they encounter on a spiritual retreat, I came face to face with my own internal hungers. By entering the often nonlinear path of mothering, where my time was organized by the home-based needs of my infant, I had no choice but to face the stored energies and dormant needs of my spirit, which I had previously managed to ignore.

In mothering from the center, we can also encounter a more authentic self.  Living and growing with children who live entirely in the present moment, fosters authenticity.  Tending children, your world slows down just enough to invite a return to the core, which allows for a more authentic way of being. Be willing to meet the places where your spirit has gone hungry, and tend yourself as well.  Mothering from this central place – from where your children arise – takes you to the heart of what matters and reconnects you with the essence of life.

What mystery does mothering invite you toward?

How are you challenged and blessed by the spiritual journey of mothering?

How can you embrace a particular challenge to receive the blessing?


How willing are we to be shown our distortions so that we may rise to the occasion of repairing them?

How committed are we to allowing our children to raise us as parents, all the while rising them as our children?

How gentle are we to their growing spirits?

How gentle are we to our own?

In this passage, we are reminded of the underlying work that is available to us each moment of our lives.  That we have a purpose as far greater than suggested by the world’s mundane messaging to which we are regularly exposed.  The full continuum of our earthly experience presents opportunity after opportunity for us to deepen our perception, expand our knowing, and exercise a greater measure of compassion toward ourselves and others.  Who better, to hold the mirror of our souls than our children who are pure reflections of our deepest fears and highest aspirations?  Sent straight from Source, they bravely cut to the core of who we are, stretching us to become more of everything we wish to be if we allow ourselves to respond to them in this way.

It can be particularly challenging for those of us who have developed routines to connect and communion with Spirit to gracefully navigate the restructured pace that comes with a new child. The long stretches, delving deep into introspection and reflection, are replaced with attention to a seemingly endless string of needs and interruptions. What if the offering is for us to develop greater focus; to steady our meditation, acknowledging Spirit as the bedrock for all of our activity. As the wisewoman Valerie Patroni says “we, ourselves, become the altars,” living tributes to the Omnipotent, and Omnipresent Mother.

“It’s not happening to you, it’s happening for you.” -Tony Robbins





Please, On behalf of Our Fathers…

I am listening to a young father in my birthing community lament the trials of his relationship with his daughter’s mother. She is pregnant again, the communication is crumbling, and he is seeking…help?


From anywhere… to bring his family back into alignment; something he can recognize and resonate with.

I am listening.  Giving space to his moments of confusion, anger, loneliness, sadness, misunderstanding, and silence…all the times he has felt silenced by the idea that it was not his turn to speak. That he did not have the right to comment on an experience that did not include his body because he did not endure the pain of labor. And so, his labor was to yield to every and all that his partner desired without complaint or opposing comment. Meanwhile inside he is dying. And the compassion that enabled him to love at all is trapped inside of an ever-hardening exterior. 

 Where is the pressure release? 

Where is the balance? 

How can this be real? 

“Maybe it’d be better if I just left…”

 Regardless of where or with whom we choose to give birth, we can, without question, recognize childbearing as a deeply transformative experience.  The over culture here, in the United States, conditions us to behave as though the role of our male counterparts, who ultimately produce the seeds responsible for our pregnancies, becomes largely insignificant once fertilization has happened.  Commonly, we (may) share the news of pregnancy with them but then proceed along our internal journeys toward realizing ourselves as new or expanded mothers only stopping to acknowledge “our non-birthing partners” when we are in need of some measure of support.

In the “care” setting, prenatal conversation is almost exclusively geared toward the birthing partner. Mindful providers may carefully use language that addresses both parents if they are both present, but the general atmosphere assumes the mother as the relevant party and funnels all information to and through her in preparation for the birth event.

And this is not without reason.  Our creative work as mothers, expanding into the fullness of ourselves, bringing forth a new thing requires quality input, honest reflection, nourishment, provision, support. We need this to safely and efficiently do our work; to fully rest in our creative capacity, building the inner and outer layers of a new person.  But what happens when, in receiving that support from the external world, we fail to acknowledge the very structures that made the experience possible? Overlooking the guidance and the needs of the scaffold that has lifted us to broader horizons?

I have witnessed the anguish of mothers, disgusted by the apparent detachment of their partners.

“I was in labor, and he was on Instagram!”  

I hear them, beside themselves with indignation, waving bright red flags of abandonment and I wonder when he, the partner in their relationship, began to feel abandoned; when the confidence in his ability to safely guide his new or expanding family began to be undermined? Was his personal connection to the pregnancy replaced in favor of Dr. Google? Were his feelings and needs pushed to the back burner by well-meaning family and community members who considered them irrelevant as they lovingly prepared the new mother for her child?  Was he witness to his own father’s voice being muted under a chorus of third-party views, his opinions and ideas taking a back seat to the knowledge of physicians, and news reporters, day care providers, random people in the grocery checkout, all external voices weighing in as more informed than his own? Was his father even there?

The thing about racism is that everyone is affected by it.  It’s unfortunate sequalae are not limited to the experience of persons of color.  The structural bias that kept the experiences of so many out of education and media meant that there was no opportunity for anyone to be inspired by acts of resilience that are the truth of our collective stories.  As such, we have all suffered.  The position we have taken with our fathers; that assumes their distraction, that imagines for a moment that they are not deeply engaged in their own transformation, navigating terrain that is just as nuanced and delicate as our own places us all on a dangerous slope. From that position, we place ourselves in a posture that requires us to partially disengage our internal, creative work and take on the tasks of navigating the external landscape creating resentment, mistrust, and exhaustion.  These feelings, then, become the ink that partially creates the blueprint of our babies being. Further, assuming our male partners disinterest not only allows, but promotes conditions that encourage his disinterest.  If we fail to engage our partners at the onset, allowing them to experience their own journey in a way that is free of our judgements about what that journey should look like, then we are creating conditions ripe for disconnection and disengagement that we will experience again, and again, through the childrearing process.

Expectation and Communication

I began offering private prenatal appointments to the partners of my birthing clients in response to an increasing awareness of how unprepared fathers felt they were to handle a birth at home. As I spoke with more fathers to be, I realized that I could easily spend an entire series of appointments assisting just them as they prepared for birth and postpartum. These men, assumed in many instances to be uninterested, had just as many legitimate feelings to work through, thoughts to work out, concerns to sort out, and questions, questions, questions.

…But no safe place where they thought they could ask and not be made to feel small, stupid, or inadequate for not having it all figured out. Just as with their birthing partners, I found that reminding them of their connection to the same Creation that made their babies possible was an assurance that they possessed the capacity to make critical decisions resulting in their family’s optimal wellness. Unfortunately for all of us, there is little messaging in the external world that reinforces that notion.

So, that leaves us. The mothers. That leaves us to do our internal work so that we stand in a place of unwavering trust as we bring our babies Earthside.  We, the mothers, must be clear that our partners are fully committed to their work so we can do ours.  It does not look the same because it is not the same.  They provide protection for us so we can safely open. Our capacity to open, receive and release is the activity that sustains us all. When we are unable to trust, we cannot open. We take on the task of ‘getting safe’ and it inhibits our true work, it disempowers our partners, and it leaves us more vulnerable than we could ever imagine.

How many of us are carrying anger from a birth experience filled with unmet expectations?  Let’s dig a bit deeper… how many of those expectations did we clearly communicate to our systems of support?  Ok, one more… How many of those expectations, upon closer inspection, were attached to conditions that were never under our control?

Bonus question: How much of the dynamic present in our current parenting or co-parenting relationship is a result of the anger we carry because of an unrealistic expectation for our partner to act or be a particular way around something that was completely beyond their control?

Communicating our needs in a way that offers clear choices for our partners so they can engage in our support requires clarity.  Acknowledging that they are individuals, working through their own challenges and have agency to choose how much support they are willing and or able to provide requires compassion.  Creating environments that foster a felt sense of safety for both partners to make meaningful exchange requires patience.  Willingness to observe ourselves, to be honest about where we are in our processes so that we can have authentic conversations with our partners requires self-empathy. We can bring tremendous healing to our fathers, partners, brothers, sons, lineages, with the tools of presence, personal accountability, and forgiveness.

Birthing women require communities of support that begin with the partners they are attached to. When we do not allow ourselves to receive the support we require from them, we disservice ourselves and our communities. As we build a new paradigm, let us move forward in trust with our partners, recognizing their unique and necessary connection to the children we grow within, acknowledging their beautifully distinct parental rhythms and flow.  Our babies have chosen us both and are endeared to both parents. Let us do our best to honor the wisdom of the Master Teachers we call our children.

What thoughts or feelings surface as you read this piece?  What experiences are you willing to share that relate to this topic?

If you feel moved, please share your thoughts, questions, or any inspiration you may have in response to this article with the EBR community.  Email your offering to janeyne@elementalbirthrites.com

Support for one another strengthens us all!



There is a Golden Opportunity for women to make deep shifts in their state of health (for better or for worse) in the month following childbirth. This is why what is taken, regarding nutrition and activity, is so vital and important! We focus on nutrient dense foods that are easy to prepare and digest to aid in the process of recovery so that mothers can enjoy their vitality long after their childbearing years.

 Across all traditional cultures, keeping new mothers warm, secluded, and very rested is a part of postpartum care.  Unfortunately, these types of practices that support vital recovery and deep nourishment have not been valued or indorsed here in the United States.  The potential for us to have a culture that blends the best of what the world has to offer to support core vitality and thriving life in mothers, who literally produce the future, is discarded in favor of capitalism and consumerism.

 EBR knows differently. We reach into varied traditions with reverence and respect, seeking the powerful wisdom of the culinary maestras! We know food is medicine. Our intent is not to appropriate, but to honor ourselves as women, as mothers, with ancient insights that have maintained Mamas and families through millennia. For those of us who do not have aunties and cousins, or in-laws that travel around the globe to be by our sides during the vital laying in, we may have an opportunity to rebuild ourselves, with the help of our communities after the birth of our own babies.

This season, we travel East for Rice Congee!

Rice porridge, also known as rice congee throughout Asia, is the #1 dish to eat the first few days after birth. Traditionally used in both Chinese medicine as well as Ayurveda, this simple dish contains all the qualities necessary to jump start your postpartum recovery.

Hot, soft, oily, sweet, and well spiced, this rice pudding is deeply nourishing as well as comforting. It not only soothes the nerves, but also nourishes the tissues, stimulates digestion, and rebuilds the blood. This rice porridge is medicine for mamas! Enjoy!

Course: Main meal for first 3 days after birth

Cuisine: Ayurvedic Postpartum

Author: Ameya Duprey  https://shakticare.com/postpartum-rice-porridge-recipe/


  • 8 C water
  • 1 C basmati rice
  • 1 1/2 C raw brown sugar or molasses
  • 1/2 C ghee or sesame oil
  • 2 tsp ginger powder
  • 1 tsp cinnamon powder
  • 3/4 tsp cardamom powder
  • 1/2 tsp clove powder
  • 1/2 tsp black pepper
  • 1/2 tsp turmeric powder
  • pinch of cayenne (optional)


  1. Rinse rice several times until the water runs clear.
  2. Bring water to a boil and add rice. Reduce heat to a simmer.
  3. Cook with the lid off, stirring occasionally for several hours.
  4. When the rice begins to thicken, add sugar, spices and ghee.
  5. When the consistency is gelatinous, take off heat and serve hot.


*Gluten-Free *Vegan

* It is very important to cook this dish long enough that the rice actually breaks down and loses its form.

* Works great in a slow cooker! Decrease the water to 8 cups, add all ingredients and cook for 8 hours.



Elemental Birth Rites would like to officially welcome of the babies born in the last season into our community! We hold you up and uplift the Mamas and Papas that made you possible. And we pledge our support as a community of safety, presence, and wisdom to guide you into a beautiful future.

Winter Solstice Newsletter 2021

Nature is doing her deep work.

Energy turned inward, reaching deeper into herself,

Sending love down into the roots to self-nourish and strengthen.

Working in the longer shadows of shorter days

Tending to behind the scenes in preparation for a glorious reveal.

What behind the scenes work is calling you?

Expressing a deep need for attention and presence?

For Light?

Patiently, quietly, revealing the inner strength

To support the external beauty.

We are in a season of introspection.  A time to cultivate our core, using all the energy of harvest to deeply feed parts of ourselves that may be starved for focused attention. In our energetic fields, these parts pulse uncomfortably. Our thoughts may become snagged, and we feel pulled out of balance.  Or we may experience a heaver vibration of ill-ease in our guts.


Winter supports our work to balance these feelings, encouraging a slower pace; time to gaze more intently into persistent patterns in our lives. Sometimes what may have felt resolved returns to highlight the areas where deeper healing is needed. This is the cyclical nature of growth. Like seasons spiraling on axis, bringing with each shift opportunities to align with the highest iterations of oneself.


For many, the call this season is an outward one; filled with distractions that keep our precious attention on the surface. Creating responsibilities for the ego to attend we resist the call to look after our own, more subtle, needs even as we acknowledge the familiar appearance of seasonal disorientation. When we choose to gift ourselves with the same intensity and dedication we see fit for others, we receive the immeasurable gifts that are the result of self-consideration.


However, distraction is easier and appears more convenient. Inner work is work, generally doesn’t feel that great, and requires discipline and faith.  When daylight hours are short, the narrative that there is not enough time to get everything done is prominent and easy to hear.


Nature never rushes…yet everything gets done.

What Earth, our mother, shows us this season is that the internal work must not be discounted. For a truly fruitful yield, we must be willing to head into ourselves eagerly, taking time to slip behind the curtain on our fears and concerns.  This is the season to carefully examine and organize what is there.


Doing this requires actually facing the anxiety and stress, naming what is present, and being accountable to the feelings that arise.  Why are we choosing discomfort, to fear or worry in the face of these circumstances?  What vulnerability is being protected by our choice to be fearful?  What superpower is cleverly disguised by a perception of weakness, masquerading as apprehension or dread? What do we believe?  What do we know and what is the difference?

Through the clarifying process, we can begin to discover what is truly ours and what does not, in fact, belong to us; feelings that exist as a result of other’s projections, our failure to identify external agendas, or entering into agreements that do not support our higher selves. This is the work of the shadow, exposing the discomfort to identify what is there; debriding the wounds, and nourishing the healthy tissues so that necessary healing can happen. So that, as the days grow longer, we can bask in the majesty of our own new growth.


With Profound Reverence and Gratitude,

Elemental Birth Rites


The doors are open! We LOVE to hear from our community and welcome participation!

If you are inspired by what you read and feel moved to contribute to Elemental BirthWrites, please send your offering to janeyne@elementalbirthrites.com

FEATURED: Mystical Motherhood by Chelsea Wiley, FNP

Below is an insightful excerpt from the writing of Ms. Chelsea Wiley followed by reflection upon her work.  Here, she offers parents guidance that ultimately leads to increased emotional intelligence in ourselves and our children. Enjoy.

Put Yourself in Time Out


“You have no right to tell the Child what to do.  The Child has the right to know what is good and what is bad.  If you teach the Child good and bad, the Child will never leave you. There is no better student.  You have never accepted a Child as a God-given student.  You accept the Child as your possession.  That is your mistake.”

– Yogi Bhajan


Many parents accept that the time out is the best way to manage their children’s unwanted emotions and behaviors.  It is what the generations before did so why wouldn’t they?  Most families across the Western world use this type of enforcement and don’t think twice about it, but I am going to suggest that you begin to question the way your discipline your children. Have you ever wondered why we use time outs and where the concept came from? In desperate moments of not knowing better, we need something else to turn to that will teach our children love and compassion.


Through interviews with child specialists, I found that the time out was originally invented by a group of researchers in order to solve the growing problem of juvenile delinquents. The funny thing is, it was never made for the delinquents – it was produced for the parents.  When the adult brain is overwhelmed or flooded, the capacity for empathy is reduced.  During these moments, it is much easier to put a child in another room than to teach them [about] the emotions they are feeling. The time out should be a time for parents to take a moment and the family to cool down together.  Yet we have let our bull-headed ego get in the way and turned it onto the child, when it is actually us who needs the moment alone. The child is acting developmentally appropriate, and when the adult begins to control, he or she is the one regressing. When we put our child into a room alone, it is only telling them, “When you need me the most, you can’t come to me. I am emotionally unavailable.” This makes it difficult to raise conscious children, who are able to trust the world and the adult taking care of them.  When we put children alone to manage uncontrolled emotions and tell them that they are inherently bad, we are cutting them off from connecting their heads to their hearts.


We need to shift to the family time out, which is really the family putting time in for meditations or a calm break before any reactions occur.  We also need to begin to negotiate with our children before they can learn the rules of order. Let your child know how the world works before they can speak, and when they start to communicate, teach them how to explain their needs and comprehend that actions have consequences.  Children should learn to present their case to you and understand why they should or should not be punished from an early age on. Punishment does not mean neglect or abuse but the fact that every action leads to a sequence of events. Every household will have to decide for themselves the consequences to not following the rules, which may be reduced screen time or toy use. Set up a household system that coincides with the child’s level of development when it comes to rules and use adult language to discuss issues that arise with your child.


…Children have to learn boundaries and consequences, but it is better to do this in a way they can comprehend and develop intelligent emotions.  When we become overwhelmed, we have to slow down together.  It is time to let our children know there is nothing wrong with them- only something wrong with what they did, reducing the creation of shame.  By breathing deeply in front of them and disciplining from a non-reactive state, we can demonstrate presence and teach them patience.  If you yell at them, or make a mistake, make sure that you talk about it with them later.  Admit when you do something wrong and explain why you did it, so they do the same thing as they as they grow older.


Instead of Putting Your Children in Time Out, Try This Next Time


Meet your child where he or she is at energetically, and project that energy back. Let the child know that you feel their anger or sadness.  If your child is having a tantrum, wait a few minutes before trying to communicate. It takes a young child at least 90 seconds to get out of the fight-or-flight response.  They literally cannot understand you or respond in the first couple of minutes of a tantrum.  So, give them a moment, and then let the child know they are heard as their brain adjusts.  Get down on their level- physically kneel or sit so the child can see your eyes.  After eye contact, give your child a touch and a nod so that he or she knows that you are present.  Be clear that you see and feel them and that they are human beings having a normal experience that will pass. Speak to your children only in a language that has their backs so that they know you are always on their side.



For so many of us, disconnection from our own thoughts and feelings began before we truly came to know what they were. Depending on how our caregivers managed our development, we inadvertently became adepts at dissociating from our authentic emotional experiences to give focus to our caregiver’s response to us having those very same authentic emotional experiences.  Instead of learning, in these childhood moments, that crying from overwhelm is a natural human response, (and that there is nothing inherently bad in being overwhelmed) we learned that Mama becomes angry or goes away when we are overwhelmed; and that to keep Mama close, which is what we truly need and want, we would do well to redirect our expression of that overwhelm.  Few of us were encouraged to fully feel our emotions and supported in understanding them as healthy expressions of the human experience. Learning to, without shame, name them and to, most importantly, move through them, acknowledging their transience as we found our way back to balance.


How do we, then, begin to straighten the crossed wires that exist within our very blueprints, transforming our own emotional suppression to emotional freedom in our children?  Acknowledging that the child within us still exists.  And being willing to show up for our own emotions, as caregivers of ourselves, giving deference to the guidance and intelligence that surfaces.  We must know that it is possible to forge connection with our emotions, accepting the infallible wisdom and guidance they offer.   Because we have learned to detach from particularly uncomfortable emotions, it is imperative that we challenge ourselves to face the shadows of this darker side; here we have the opportunity to follow the trail of discomforts back to their origins, dismantling, piece by piece, the structures that scaffold the disconnection we feel in ourselves and with our children when their emotions take them “out of reach.”


It is necessary to understand that the essential nature of what our children feel does not title itself; our babies learn through observation of our responses how to feel about what they feel, how to manage what they feel, and ultimately how to release what they feel, restore themselves, and carry on with life.  The likelihood is that if we are unable to sit with our own emotional challenges, unequipped to exercise compassion with ourselves, we will not be prepared to manage the, often non-verbal, expressions of our children as they are learning to navigate the human experience. Exercising the patience necessary to accurately identify what we feel and observing our personal management of those feelings defines our work as we seek to guide our children in the best way.  The effort is ongoing, but a clear mission to help our babies develop healthy emotional intelligence is worth every moment.





“We just celebrated his first birthday and I keep circling back to the Mother!” 

I was sitting and chatting with a lovely Mamababy over milestones and tea.

“And I suppose I’m wondering why we just can’t seem to get it together…?”

Sort of a question, sort of a statement, her eyes were in no way defeated but they assuredly asked for help with the seemingly endless task of pulling back layers on the relationship between she and her mother.


I thought about my own journey, realizing the ongoing nature of addressing, and redressing the mother wound. The shared stories of women I’d worked with, all reaching out from or back to their relationships with their mothers. This great community of women can share anecdotes, insights, tools, and stories, but the journey with The Mother is the journey into oneself.  And there will always be more to the voyage…


The day my mother decided that she was “cutting the cord,” I fell twice. I was in a different house than her, very much involved in the personal comings and goings of my day. And then, two times in a row, my feet, suddenly, were not underneath me. I am not a clumsy person so by the second time I was laying on the floor, mentally assessing my body for pain, the deeper part of my consciousness was scrambling to put pieces together.  It wasn’t until later in the day when my mother showed up with a van full of boxes, pictures and certificates from my grade school years, tempera colored hand-prints and macaroni-laced, glue-filled love-notes, team pennants and year-books all gathered for removal in the name of “decluttering,” that things began to make sense.


“All these things have your name on them. I figured they belonged to you.”


Umbilical cords are surprisingly tensile.  It makes sense, they have an insanely important job.  I have seen cords; hefty ones, pulsating with radiant life, and felt a visceral sense of that child’s connection to its mother. But even the cords that are thinner, that might leave one wondering “is the baby ok?,” are surprisingly resilient. Even well-designed cord-gathering scissors might need ‘a few chews to get through.’ This cord is the physical representative for the connection of Child to its Creatress.  And Life is serious about safeguarding that connection.  The severance of this energetic freeway is no small thing. And though the physical cord may be severed shortly after birth, it can take several decades for the energy of it to dissipate…if it ever even really does.


“You accept the Child as your possession. That is your mistake.  – Yogi Bhajan

“They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.”

– Khalil Gibran, The Prophet


I think a brief moment to consider the conundrum of ownership is warranted. What a challenge it is, indeed, to grow a tiny human, from an imperceptible cell in our bodies into a functional being, experiencing life as a satellite of our own awareness and sensitivities, and then to somehow, with all the responsibility inherent to this reality, not claim exclusive rights and control. But, in fact, when we think of children as our possessions, we have inextricably linked our value to them…And they are people, growing, changing, forging their own way in the world.  What’s more, our children, the ones we own, develop within a framework of being owned. Deeper than a sense of belonging to something; from the adage, “mother’s baby, papa’s maybe,” children understand that their very existence always and ultimately trickles back to their mother; presence or participation be damned, it is The Mother to whom we return.


Why is this important? Because this timeless link is what makes mother wounds possible. Because even as adults, moving in and through the world, having our own children, the link between ourselves and our mothers persists. For those of us who never knew our birth mothers, we look deeply into ourselves, seeking resonance with that archetypal energy that allows us to feel her presence even in her absence.  And for those of us whose mothers are present, we dance with them, wrapped tightly in their deepest hopes and dreams, throwing off their expectations and convictions. Only to find them expertly folded into our own beliefs and ways of seeing the world. We are our mothers.  Every effort we make to be all the things they never were is everything they prayed we would become. The joy of who they are is the pain we feel when we see them as reflections in the mirror. The pain of who we are is the pride that is felt but never spoken when they watch us as we sleep.


Healing happens in layers.  We can observe this watching the careful wound closing from that last spill off the skateboard. The bleeding stopped. The scab formed.  It fell away and new skin slowly, surely, grew in its place. Perhaps a scar was left. Every day the body tended a little more until that open place had closed. We move through our lives, surviving the “spills,” time tending to the open places until a new skin has formed…perhaps a scar is left. When we decide and commit to healing the deeper wounds, we have taken to the task of lifting that skin, digging into the scar tissues to get to the original injuries, using the tools of compassion and forgiveness to gently undo the severity of the impact. The wound becomes less about the weapon and more about the tissues; is their blood flow? Oxygen? Nutrients?  How are we feeding ourselves; caring for ourselves?  The work in deep healing belongs to us. And, as not to overwhelm, comes upon us in layers giving opportunity to fully heal so that as new skin develops, we become stronger and more flexible than we ever were.


My mother’s decision to release from her possession all that had my name on it, in a way, felt as though I was cluttering her life. Perhaps she had also felt that way, burdened by her attachment to every expression of my creative energy in the world. In an effort to honor me, her creation, she carefully packaged that energy and handed it to me as if to say, “Fly free. You decide what to do with yourself.”  I imagine what I might have felt had she invited me to her home, and if together, over tea, we would have sorted those items and mutually decided to gift or discard them.  The ‘self’ she handed me was a self that was fully committed to exaltation of, her, the mother.  It was debasing to be suddenly, and without warning, in charge of that self.  However, my time sorting through those mementos alone brought a powerful medicine of autonomy.  There was a subtle changing-of-the-guard in my life.  Our mothers possess a wisdom that never fails us if we are willing to hear its voice. Observe them carefully. We may have to watch them through the looking glass, but the magic is there.


This ongoing process, wounding, strengthening, healing is the ever present and continual work of navigating The Mother.  As with any relationship, the commitment each one makes that allows the other to be fully in their journey, accepting without judgement, the process of the other, may be as “together” as it gets. In any case, bringing our authentic hearts forward, clearly reflecting the beauty of who our mothers are as we learn ourselves again, and then again, is the gift that we bring to them. It’s the gift we bring to ourselves and the one we shall pass on to our daughters for evermore.


And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.


-Khalil Gibran


From the Hearth

I’m going to just go on ahead and jump right in.

L I V E R. (Collective screw face.)

No one wants to talk about it.
But we need to talk about it.
Because on a scale of 1-10, liver is like… a 13.

THEE (thank you Ms. Stallion) most nutrient dense food on the planet. Many a plant-based Mama I know, who otherwise would not dream of putting animal products in her mouth, makes the exception to supplement with desiccated liver.

Pound for pound liver and organ meat is unmatched; far surpassing the nutrient density of all known fruits and vegetables, particularly in its concentration of choline, folate, iron, vitamin A, vitamin K, and B vitamins.
And it’s a game changer for nourishing a postpartum mother, particularly after a tear, cut (read: surgical incision) or significant bleed.

We’re talking grass-fed, pasture-raised, hormone and antibiotic free, y’all. As with any animal-based product, the highest quality possible is of paramount importance. There are fancy ways to hide liver textures in heavier foods like lasagna or meatballs. But, since we like to keep it simple, below is a basic pate. Enjoy!

This recipe is so easy, it will only take you 30 minutes to make it.

Wash liver very well to remove any blood and pat dry it with paper towels. Cut in pieces (the size doesn’t matter so much) and set aside.

Heat high quality butter in a medium size pan. (A heavy bottom pan would be great if you have it.) Saute chopped onions and garlic for a few minutes and then add the liver to it. You want to cook it until it is no longer pink inside, but try not to overcook and dry it out.

Now is the fun part! Blend everything together in a small food processor or blender. Add more soft butter, truffle oil or olive oil to reach your desired consistency. Scrape the unprocessed pieces from the side down to blend.
The mixture should be smooth and not grainy. You can add more of your favorite spices or vegetables if you wish. It would taste wonderful with roasted jalapenos or red peppers. Or with chopped scallions or cilantro. Spread on Miltons or toast to enjoy.

Our doors are open! If you have a nourishing recipe to share with the Mamas and families in the Elemental Birth Rites community, please write janeyne@elementalbirthrites.com!



Elemental Birth Rites would like to officially welcome of the babies born in the last season into our community! We hold you up and uplift the Mamas and Papas that made you possible. And we pledge our support as a community of safety, presence, and wisdom to guide you into a beautiful future.